


Weight of Living

by peanut12



Category: Throne of Glass Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Alternate Universe - Military, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, I'm Bad At Tagging, Modern
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:00:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25418077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peanut12/pseuds/peanut12
Summary: Aelin finds herself trying to ignore the twinge of pain she feels as she celebrates her friend's engagement, but a certain silver-haired male somehow helps her forget about it - even just for a little while.Modern AU where the cadre are all in the Terrasen military. Title taken from a Bastille song!
Relationships: Aelin Ashryver Galathynius | Celaena Sardothien & Rowan Whitethorn, Aelin Ashryver Galathynius | Celaena Sardothien/Rowan Whitethorn
Comments: 34
Kudos: 112





	1. Chapter 1

Aelin sighed as she fiddled with her hair in the bathroom mirror, trying to get it to fall the way that she wanted. She loved Elide so much. They were closer than most sisters were. But her love for the girl didn’t make it any easier to be at her engagement party. Not after Sam.

But this day wasn’t about Aelin, she reminded herself. It was for Elide and Lorcan. Aelin took one more deep breath and put a smile on her face as she went to join the party that was starting to pick up. She should at least try to enjoy herself after helping Elide set up all day.

Despite the twinge of raw pain she still felt, she couldn’t help but smile when she spotted Elide and Lorcan together. The way the girl looked at him would melt anyone’s heart. Aelin’s smile turned into a smirk, though, as she watched Elide pinch Lorcan’s side as he made some off-color joke. She wasn’t afraid to put him in his place when he needed it. Aelin made sure to focus on that joy as she joined the group that the couple was already chatting with.

Elide wrapped Aelin in a hug when she saw her. “I don’t know how I would have gotten all of this done without you, Aelin,” the girl admitted. “Thank you for your help.”

Aelin waved her off. “I’m never going to turn down getting to spend more time with you.” She turned her attention to the other men that the couple had been chatting with a moment before. “Introduce me to your friends?” 

“Of course!” Elide exclaimed. “Aelin, these are Lorcan’s friends - Fenrys, Gavriel, and Rowan. Boys, this is Aelin. She’s my...sister, best friend, whatever you want to call her.” All three men nodded a polite greeting to Aelin. Fenrys had a wide, laughing smile on his face that lit up his onyx eyes, where Gavriel and Rowan’s faces were a bit more subdued but still kind.

“I was actually about to go find a drink, Elide,” Aelin explained. “I’ll catch up with you later!” She moved on from the group, letting her friend socialize more with those at the party that she didn’t see as often as they saw each other. 

Aelin found a cup to fill with the spiked lemonade in the spigoted pitcher they had put out earlier, and wasn’t surprised to see both Aedion and Lysandra near the tables of food and drinks. She, Lysandra, and Elide had all been friends since they were in elementary school. Aedion, on the other hand, was her cousin, although they had been raised more like siblings. He was actually the one that had introduced Elide and Lorcan several years earlier, though not with the intention of them getting together. They had all been together on a pleasant, early summer evening, cooking out and enjoying each other’s company. Aedion had invited Lorcan over to join them, as he was new to Aedion’s squadron and didn’t know anyone yet. Elide and Lorcan had been just about inseparable since.

Aelin joined Aedion and Lysandra where they were already standing, observing the party a bit off to the side.

“Everything turned out beautifully,” Lysandra beamed at Aelin. She shrugged in response.

“You know I don’t mind helping to plan things like this.”

“Well, you’ve got an eye for it. Don’t be surprised if Elide ropes you in to plan the wedding, too.” 

“I’d be happy to help with that too.”

Lysandra’s eyes fell to where Elide and Lorcan seemed to be wrapping up their conversation with the three men Aelin had been introduced to so they could go greet some of the other guests. “Well, if she does have you help plan, can you make sure I walk with someone like one of  _ those _ three?” She inclined her head towards Fenrys, Gavriel, and Rowan, clearly appreciating the view. 

Aelin rolled her eyes. “You just like that one in the middle because he kinda looks like Aedion.” She glanced sidelong at her cousin, who took a sip of his drink and continued surveying the party as if he hadn’t heard her. Lysandra scoffed, but her cheeks started turning pink. Aelin knew good and well that the two had been dancing around each other for years, neither one of them wanting to make the first move. She gave up trying to ignore it about six months before, and instead decided to torment them like this until they got their shit together.

“Are you hanging in there?” Aedion murmured, changing the subject completely. Aelin saw the flash of worry in his eyes as he looked at her.

“I’m happy for them,” Aelin answered, taking a slow drink out of the cup in her hands. Aedion was still studying her, though.

“That’s not what I asked.” He wasn’t going to let her get away with a non-answer like that, she realized.

“”I can’t say this is the easiest thing in the world,” she sighed, “but I’ll survive.” She did her best to ignore the pity on both Lysandra and Aedion’s faces. They, along with Elide, had been the ones taking care of her - keeping her alive - when she lost Sam. They knew better than anyone that there were still some days when that empty spot in her heart took over and she felt like she was only hanging on by a thread.

Aelin sighed and looked down at the cup in her hands, frowning to find it empty already. She was a little disappointed in herself for finishing it that quickly, but tried to push that thought out of her head. This was a hard day for her. She mumbled an excuse as Chaol and Dorian wandered their way over to say hello and went to go fill up her cup again.

Instead of rejoining the small group, Aelin took a step back and observed the party from a distance, giving herself a chance to catch her breath. She scanned the guests, just noticing who had arrived. As she looked to her left, she caught the gaze of the silver-haired man Elide had introduced a little while ago, also standing a bit away from the party on his own. He gave her a small smile that didn’t seem to reach his eyes. 

Aelin cursed under her breath. Now that they made eye contact she would have to go over and talk to him, or run the risk of seeming rude. She took another sip out of her cup before walking over to where he was standing.

“Rowan, right?” she asked, keeping a polite smile on her face.

He nodded. “And you’re Aelin?” 

“That would be me,” she confirmed. “So how do you and Lorcan know each other?” 

“We’re in the same squadron together,” he explained.

“Oh, so you’re in the Air Force too?” 

“I am. So are Fenrys and Gavriel, the other two that I was with earlier.” 

Aelin wasn’t very surprised to find more military guys around the party. Lorcan had been in the Air Force for the vast majority of his adult life, and where they all lived in Orynth wasn’t just the capital of Terrasen but also home to one of the Terrasen military’s largest bases. 

She glanced just passed Rowan for only a moment to find Lysandra eyeing them, a smug smile on her face. Aelin did her best to ignore it, turning her attention back to Rowan, but not before Lysandra lifted her thumb and her pinky finger to her face as if talking on a phone, urging Aelin silently to  _ get his number. _

“So what do you do for work?” He kept up the conversation for the slightly-too-long moment Aelin had been lost in her own thoughts.

“I’m a musician, piano player. I teach lessons during the week and play concerts around Orynth when I can.”

“You know, I always wished I could play an instrument.”

Aelin couldn’t help the small chuckle that escaped her lips. “You would be shocked at the number of people who tell me that when I tell them what I do.” 

“It’s hard not to be drawn to something like music that brings so much happiness to others.” 

She tilted her head, thinking for a moment. “You know, I’ve never heard anyone describe it that way. I like that.”

Aelin heard her name being called, and found Elide waving her over, either to help with something to introduce her to someone else that had just arrived. She waved back in acknowledgement before turning back to Rowan again.

“It looks like Elide needs me,” she explained. She fell silent again, biting her lower lip in thought. “But if you wouldn’t mind...could I maybe call you sometime?” 

The small smile Rowan had sent her when she was standing on her own came to his face again, but this time there was a small hint of a glimmer in his eyes along with it. “I’d like that.” 

He recited his phone number to her. She quickly typed it into her phone and sent him a text that just read  _ Aelin Galathynius _ so he had her number as well before going to see what Elide needed from her.

*****

While the evening may not have been the most pleasant Aelin had ever had, the rest of it passed by uneventfully. 

She was awoken the next morning to the chiming of her phone. She groaned as she rolled over to see who was calling, and decided to answer.

“What the fuck time is it, Lysandra?” 

She heard the woman’s tinkling laugh on the other end of the phone. “Quit whining, it’s like ten, you can get your lazy ass out of bed.” 

“But why?” 

“Alright, I suppose you don’t actually have to get out of bed yet. But you  _ do  _ have to tell me about Lorcan’s friend you were talking to last night.”

“You seriously woke me up for that?” Aelin sighed, but relented. “His name’s Rowan. We just chatted for a couple of minutes, I don’t know what you want me to tell you.”

“You got his number, right?”

“Yeah I did.” 

“ _ And? _ Did you call him yet?”

“Lysandra, when the fuck was I supposed to call him between meeting him and right now? Besides, who calls people anymore?”

“Alright, fine, you can text him.”

“Oh, good, I was waiting for your permission.” 

“Shut up, you know what I meant. My point is, you’ve gotta text him at  _ some _ point today. He’s so hot.” 

“Alright, I promise, I will. Can I go back to sleep now?”

“Fine. I’ll talk to you later.” 

They said their goodbyes and hung up the phone. Despite Aelin’s complaining, she realized quickly that she wasn’t going to fall asleep again that morning. Instead, she decided to get up, change into leggings and a t-shirt, and go for a run.

Running tended to clear her head better than most other activities she could think of. She was alone with her thoughts while she ran, and that’s exactly what she needed after the night before. 

Aelin did her best to get herself lost in her neighborhood that she had run countless times before. The rhythm of her feet on the pavement helped to ease the tug on her heart she still felt after seeing Elide and Lorcan together when she should have had Sam next to her, too. Focusing on her breathing didn’t let her dwell on the confusion she felt about getting Rowan’s number last night, and what she would text him -  _ if  _ she would text him.

By the time she found her way back in front of her house, her breath had started to burn in her lungs and the muscles in her legs were crying out for a break. She unlocked her door and immediately plopped herself down on the floor, falling backwards to stare up at the ceiling.

Aelin gave herself a moment to catch her breath, and took out her phone to call Lysandra again.

“Now who’s calling too much?” Lysandra said by way of a greeting.

“You’re right. He’s hot. Now what the fuck do I text him?”

*****

In the time it took Aelin and Lysandra to decide what her text should say, Aelin moved from laying on the floor, to sitting on the couch, to lounging on her bed. Now, she was back on the floor where she had started, Lysandra on speakerphone as she stared at the message she had typed out, not hitting send yet. 

“I swear, I will come over there and hit send for you if you don’t do it.” 

“You might have to.” 

“Gods, Aelin, just do it! It’s not even a big deal.”

As she was reading over the text again, her phone pinged with a different notification from Elide to both her and Lysandra:  _ Drinks downton tonight? A certain one of Lorcan’s friends is supposed to be there Aelin ;) _

“Gods damn it, Lysandra, did you tell Elide about me getting his number?” Aelin groaned to her friend on the other end of the phone.

“It may have come up in conversation. But it’s fine! See, now you don’t even have to text him! You’ll just see him tonight!”

“Yeah, but now I have to figure out what the fuck to wear. That’s even harder” 

Lysandra was silent for a beat. “I’ll be right over.” 

True to her word, Aelin hadn’t even peeled herself off the floor before Lysandra was pounding on her front door. 

She had barely called out, “It’s open!” before the other girl just let herself in. Fleetfoot immediately came running up, tail wagging, to greet Lysandra. She bent to give her an obliging scratch behind the ears before turning her attention to Aelin. 

“What would you do without me?” Lysandra asked, a smug smirk on her face.

“Probably just lie here in this spot forever.” She reached a hand up in a silent request for help standing up, which Lysandra did after minimal eye rolling. 

The girls spent the afternoon digging through Aelin’s closet, trying clothes on and taking them back off again to try something new, the pile of garments on her bed piling higher and higher as they went. Finally, they decided on a pair of high waisted jeans and a black cropped t-shirt. Simple, but still showed off her assets. 

Aelin studied herself in the mirror for a moment. “Damn, you must really think I need a date.” 

“Would I be wrong?” 

“Shut up.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So for purposes of this fic, we're just going to ignore the fact that Gavriel and Aedion are related at all. I just love Gavriel so much and wanted to include him in it and couldn't think of a way to include their real relationship.

By the time Lysandra and Aelin made it to the bar Elide had invited them to, everyone else was already there.

“Fashionably late, as always,” Elide quipped as she got up from her seat to greet the two women with hugs. 

“You know it wouldn’t be a party without us,” Lysandra shot right back, a good natured smile on her face. 

Elide returned to her seat next to Lorcan at the now-cramped table, while Lysandra quickly grabbed the open chair next to Aedion. She flashed Aelin a shit-eating grin as she glanced between the blonde and the seat she intentionally left open next to Rowan. Aelin just rolled her eyes and sat down. 

Glancing around the table, Aelin saw that the people gathered were all at the party the night before as well. Elide and Lorcan were pressed together, naturally, with Gavriel to the right of Lorcan and Fenrys next to him. Even Dorian, Chaol, and Yrene had made an appearance. 

Rowan gave her a small smile when they met each other’s eye. “Nice seeing you again.”

“Good to see you, too,” she smiled back. Yrene caught her attention from across the table, waving enthusiastically so as not to have to shout her greeting over the others. Aelin waved just as happily back to her.

“Friends of yours and Elide’s?” Rowan asked.

Aelin nodded. “That’s Yrene and her husband Chaol next to her. I’ve known him and Dorian there with them for a few years now. I didn’t officially meet Yrene until she and Chaol started dating, but then we figured out that she and I had actually gone to the same high school at the same time, and must have passed each other in the hallways gods know how many times.” She smiled to herself, remembering how quickly she and Yrene had gotten along despite the fact that she and Chaol had tried dating for a while. 

“So what about you?” She asked Rowan. “You said that you and Lorcan and the other two are all in the Air Force together. Is that how all of you met?” 

A grin grew on his face as he began talking about his friends. “We actually all grew up in the same neighborhood together, same schools and everything. Then we all decided to join the military together. We figured that would be one of the only careers that would at least sometimes tolerate our bullshit.” 

“That doesn’t surprise me. My cousin, Aedion,” she nodded toward the man in question, “is in the Air Force, too, and has told me about some of what they all get up to together. Sometimes it amazes me that we have a functioning military at all.” She shook her head, but couldn’t help the smile on her face.

Rowan looked over at Aedion, furrowing his brow. “You said Aedion is your cousin? Aedion Ashryver, is it?” 

“That would be him. He’s my cousin, but we’re as close as siblings. Why, do you know him?” 

Rowan’s eyes flicked back to Aelin. “Not really know him, but I’ve heard of him around the base, almost like six degrees of separation. He’s done some pretty impressive shit, from what I’ve heard.”

Aelin shrugged. “I’m sure he has, but he’s not really one to talk about any of it so I wouldn’t know. He’ll just let us know to show up to an awards or promotion ceremony, and that’s about the only way we know that he’s good at his job.” She rolled her eyes at her cousin’s behavior, but her attention was drawn by Lysandra calling her name.

“Are you just going to sit there, or are we going to drink?” 

Aelin sighed but leaned forward to hear her better. “I supposed I’m a little thirsty, now that you mention it.”

“Good,” Lysandra gave a shit eating grin. “While you’re up, will you get me a drink too?” 

“I suppose I do owe your lazy ass,” Aelin rolled her eyes again. “Anyone else need anything while I’m up?” 

Bad move. She had barely gotten the words out before just about everyone at the table started requesting she get them something from the bar. 

“Gods damn it!” she laughed, the others finally calming down. “One at a time, and maybe if I like you enough you’ll get what you asked for.” 

They repeated their requests in a somewhat more organized fashion before she stood, Rowan rising as well. “I’ll help you get everything,” he explained as she raised her brow at him. She shrugged but had no objection.

The bartender got to them quickly, and Aelin rattled off everyone’s drink order perfectly before pausing a moment to think about what she wanted herself. “And I’ll get a whiskey coke,” she finally decided. 

“Make that two,” Rowan jumped in. The bartender nodded in acknowledgement as Rowan turned his attention back to Aelin. “A girl after my own heart with that drink,” he grinned. 

“It’s always been my go-to because no one can really screw it up.”

“Very true,” he agreed. “No teaching or concert for you tonight?” 

Aelin couldn’t help the bit of surprise she felt that he remembered what she did for work. “Not tonight. I really only teach on weekdays, and I don’t have a concert again until next weekend with the Terrasen Symphony.”

“Really? The Terrasen Symphony?”

“Yes, really. What, is it so hard to believe that I would play with them?” Aelin couldn’t keep the teasing tone out of her voice.

“No, no, not hard to believe at all. Just...impressive. You must have worked hard to get there.”

A smile bloomed across her face. “I’ve been playing since I was about eight. Some of it came easily to me, I guess, but I’ve also practiced for thousands of hours. Most people will just tell me how I must be so talented and don’t think about all the work I’ve had to put in, too.”

“I’d love to hear you play sometime.”

Aelin bit her bottom lip, thinking for a moment. “You know, if you really mean that and you’re free next Saturday, I could probably get you a ticket.” 

A smile bloomed across Rowan’s face. “I’d really like that.” 

“I’ll see what I can do.” 

The bartender returned to where they were standing with the last of the drinks they had ordered. It took them a little bit of planning to decide how to get all the bottles and glasses back to the table between the two of them, but somehow they made it back with minimal spillage. 

As Aelin passed out everyone’s drinks to them, she gave a sideways glance at how Aedion and Lysandra were sitting. They were both slightly turned in their seats to be facing each other a little more directly. They sat close enough that their legs touched, and they leaned in towards one another as if they were whispering secrets. 

As Aelin sat down, she slid her phone out of her pocket, opening up the text conversation between her and Lysandra.

_ Gods, when will you two just get on with it and date each other? _

She sent the message before adding another one,  _ Or you could just fuck. No judgement here. Just don’t tell me the details on that one. _

Aelin watched as her friend checked the notification on her phone, only to look up at her and flip her off. Aedion’s brow furrowed in confusion, until Lysandra handed over her phone so he could read the messages himself. He shook his head in exasperation as he handed the phone back to her, purposefully not meeting Aelin’s gaze. 

“Hey, Aelin,” Fenrys called over to her from the other side of the table. “Lorcan tells me you’re a musician. Is that right?”

“Yeah, I play piano.”

“You know, I play some guitar myself.” 

Lorcan snorted form where he sat. “You can play four chords on a good day, Fenrys. I wouldn’t call that playing guitar.” 

“It’s more than you can play,” Fenrys shot back. “Besides, you can play tons of songs with just four chords, right, Aelin?” He looked to her for confirmation, a smug grin already tugging at his lips.

“I suppose it depends on which four chords it is, but yeah, lots of pop songs use the same ones,” she confirmed.

“But did you tell her about why you started learning how to play guitar in the first place?” Lorcan demanded more than asked, but the grin never left Fenrys’ face. 

“For a girl, of course, why else?” 

Gavriel decided to jump in on the conversation as well, “But then you opened your mouth to sing, too. And how did that go for you?” 

Fenrys shrugged. “Maybe I don’t have the best singing voice in the world. But she should have at least given me some credit for trying!”

“Fenrys, you sound like a dying cat when you try to sing,” Lorcan shook his head. “It’s no wonder she never talked to you again.” 

“Sounds like she wasn’t worth it, anyway,” Aelin decided. “If you went through all that trouble to learn how to play and everything, she could have at least let you down gently.” 

Fenrys extended his arm across the table towards Aelin and looked at his friends, eyebrows raised. “See?” he demanded. “I’ve met her all of twice and even she can see what a catch I am! Maybe you assholes could learn a thing or two from her.” 

“That’s the problem,” Lorcan laughed. “She hasn’t known you long enough not to be polite yet. Give it some time Fenrys, she’ll hate you just as much as the rest of us.” Fenrys just flipped off his friends, laughing despite himself, and finished the rest of his beer.

Aelin turned her attention to Yrene next, noting the arm Chaol had draped over the back of her chair. She was glad to see the two of them so happy together. They deserved it. “How are things at the hospital, Yrene? I feel like it’s been ages since I’ve seen you.”

Yrene shrugged. “Busy, as always,” she admitted, “I’ve been on call a lot the last couple of weeks. But I should have some more time to myself coming up here soon, barring disaster.” Yrene had gotten herself through medical school almost entirely on her own. Aelin knew that her father was out of the picture since Yrene was a baby, and her mother did the best she could for her. Yrene had told Aelin that when her mother passed away suddenly and left Yrene on her own, she knew she wanted to become a doctor to try to keep that from happening to anyone else. Now, she worked as an emergency room doctor at the largest hospital in Orynth.

“I’m not sure how the hospital ever functioned without you there,” Aelin mused. “It seems like they always need you for something.”

Yrene shrugged, a smile on her face. “I don’t mind it, really. It’s nice to feel like I’m really making a difference.” 

“Well, I for one will appreciate having you home for a few days,” Chaol jumps in. “Maybe it’ll actually feel like I’m not a bachelor again for once.” Yrene swats at his arm, a grin on her face.

“Speaking of bachelors, Dorian,” Aelin narrows her eyes at the man next to Chaol, “what’s this I hear that you’re seeing someone now, too?” 

Dorian rolls his eyes. “It’s nothing, really. Just a couple of dates so far.”

“A couple of dates is a lot more than you’ve had recently,” Aelin points out. 

“And what about you, Aelin?” Dorian shoots back, raising his brows. “You’re sitting here interrogating everyone else about their love lives, but I don’t see you offering any details about your own.”

“Dorian,” Chaol muttered, warning him.

“No, Chaol, it’s fine,” Aelin assured him. She worked to keep a smile on her face and a teasing tone in her voice as she quipped back, “I would want to scandalize you with all the juicy details.” 

Deflecting. And they knew it. But no one bothered to call her on it. 

Instead, she turns back to Yrene. “So, if you’re going to be free this week, why don’t we go grab coffee or something?” 

Yrene smiled, taking the change of subject with grace. “I’d love to do that. I should be free Friday morning if that works for you.” 

“Sounds perfect.”

Aelin continued to chat with Lorcan’s friends, getting to know them all better. At some point she finished her drink, but was too wrapped up in the conversation she was having to bother getting up to get another one for herself. 

Instead, Dorian gets her attention only a few minutes later with a hand on her shoulder. She looks up at him, finding him with another whiskey and coke in his hand and an apologetic smile on his face.

“Think I might owe you a drink,” he explains, passing the drink to her.

“You don’t owe me anything, but I appreciate it.” She lays her own hand on the one he had rested on her shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze before he ambled off to find his own seat once again.

*****

By the time the group decided it was time to wrap it up, Aelin had learned more about Lorcan’s friends than she could have imagined. She heard about everything from how Gavriel would weave stories to keep himself and his friends out of trouble growing up, all the way to far too many details about Fenrys’s shady history with women. She couldn’t be more excited to have them join their group of friends. Family. Whatever they all called themselves.

She had almost made it all the way back to her car before she worked up the nerve to turn to Rowan. 

“Don’t feel obligated to come to the concert next weekend if you’re really not interested. I promise, I won’t be offended.”

He gave her a small smile. “I am interested, though. I’d really like to be there. If it’s no trouble for you, that is.”

“It’s no trouble. I can make sure to get you a ticket this week.”

“I’d like that.”

Aelin ducked her head as she felt her face starting to heat up. What was happening to her? “I’ll, um...I’ll text you the details later this week then.” She finally glanced back up to find his eyes still on her.

“I’ll see you on Saturday, then, Aelin.”

“See you Saturday.”

She had to fight not to run over to the car where Lysandra was already waiting for her. The sound of her name on Rowan’s tongue still rang in her head. She could get used to that sound.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I definitely did not mean to take this long to get another chapter out. Work has gotten crazy fast. I'm still here though, doing my best!

The week flew by for Aelin, filled with lessons and her own practicing. She had to stop herself often, making sure that she was only practicing a few measures at a time that she felt still needed polishing. She also had to make sure to pause on Friday morning to keep her coffee date she had planned with Yrene. It had been too long since she had seen her friend, and that few hours of work would probably only hurt her performance in the long run. 

Aelin made it to their favorite little coffee shop downtown right on time, but Yrene was already there waiting for her. It was typical of the woman to be early to everything. Still, Yrene rose from the table she had found to greet Aelin with a smile and a hug. 

“Good to see you, Ae,” she said with a quick squeeze to her shoulder. 

“You too, Yrene,” Aelin agreed. “It’s been too long.” 

The two got their coffee and sat back down at the table. “So how was the engagement party last weekend?” Yrene started. 

“It was nice. Elide and Lorcan are so happy together, it’s honestly kind of disgusting.”

Yrene rolled her eyes, but smiled despite herself. “At least they’re happy. And what about you? Were you...alright?”

Aelin nodded, taking a sip of her coffee. “I managed alright. Aedion and Lysandra kept a good eye on me, like they always do. I’m not going to lie, the whole thing made me miss Sam. A lot. But I know he wouldn’t want me sulking when I should be happy for my friends. I just tried to think about how happy I felt when we were in the same position. You know, thinking about the good things instead.”

“That’s a great way to handle it,” Yrene agreed. “But I also heard that you hit it off with a certain someone that was there?” Her lips turned up into a teasing smile.

“I may have,” Aelin found a wicked grin of her own. “We had a pretty good conversation, and I don’t know if we really talked about anything in particular. He kept it up at the bar the other night, too. I don’t know, it just seemed...easy. He’s actually going to be at my concert tomorrow night.”

“I need to go to one of your concerts again. It’s been ages since I’ve been able to make it to one. But, I digress. I’m happy to hear that he helped you enjoy the party a bit more.”

“So, how come you couldn’t be there? Work again?”

Yrene nodded, rolling her eyes a bit. “Where else would I be? I picked up a shift so someone else didn’t have to miss their kid’s birthday. Believe me, I would much rather have been at the party. People are just…” she huffed, not bothering to finish her sentence.

“Did something happen at the hospital?” Aelin asked, a bit worried. 

“There was a kiddo that I treated for a broken arm. It’s not the first time I’ve seen him there, and I’m almost certain his father did it, but I don’t have proof. All I can do is keep reporting it and hope that it gets taken care of. I just...the dad didn’t even pretend to care that his son was injured and in pain. I don’t understand how people can be that callous, that uncaring. I mean, he’s a  _ child _ for gods’ sakes!” Yrene caught herself before she let the volume of her voice rise any higher than it already was, biting her lip and glancing away from Aelin. She couldn’t hide the tear that slipped down her cheek, though. 

Aelin was caught off guard by Yrene’s reaction. She wasn’t one to cry, especially over something that occurred almost a week ago. Aelin reached forward and took her friend’s hand in her own, furrowing her brow in concern. “That must have been hard, Yrene. But you’ve done things like this before. Was there something about this time that made it different? Got you so upset?” 

Yrene flicked her eyes back to Aelin, studying her face. “It was different this time,” she finally muttered, dropping her gaze again.

“Different how?” 

“It just is. Because now...well, just forget it. It’s nothing.”

“It’s clearly not nothing, Yrene. You’re worrying me.”

“No, no! It’s nothing to be worried about, I promise! It’s that…”

She trailed off but Aelin stayed quiet, looking at her expectantly. 

Yrene sighed and bit her lip, as if she were at a loss for what to say. Finally, she broke the silence. “You know, I wish I could have had a beer with you the other day at the bar…” the way she trailed off at the end of her sentence made Aelin furrow her brow even more.

“Right, but you were on call again, weren’t you?” 

Yrene shook her head, but didn’t say anything else.

“Wait, so then why couldn’t you…” Aelin’s mouth hung open as she finally connected the dots. “Yrene, are you…” she grabbed both her friend’s hands in her own a bit harder than she meant to. “Are you pregnant?” Aelin finally hissed excitedly. 

Yrene nodded, still biting her lip as if she were trying to hide the smile on her face. 

“How long have you known?” Aelin demanded, starting to bounce in her chair. 

“Not long, so you can’t tell anyone!” Yrene pleaded, finally letting her smile loose. 

“No, I won’t, I promise, I’m just so excited for you!” Aelin let herself ramble before finally surging out of her seat to wrap her friend in a tight hug. “You’re going to make such a great mom.” 

When Aelin finally decided she could let go of Yrene, she saw the other woman wiping tears off her face.

“Happy tears, I promise,” Yrene giggled. “There have been lots of those recently, between me and Chaol.”

Aelin had to work to keep her jaw from dropping. “Tears from Chaol? Are you sure?”

“He started crying even before I did,” she confided. “But don’t tell him I said that, either.” 

The two sat and finished their coffee, chatting about the baby, Aelin’s love life, and Lorcan’s friends that seemed to be becoming part of their group at a rapid pace. Finally, Yrene decided she needed to get home for some rest before her late shift that evening. 

“I’m just so happy for you and Chaol,” Aelin gushed, wrapping her friend in one last embrace.

“And I’m happy for you, too,” Yrene added. “You’ve got to let me know how the concert goes tomorrow. And I don’t mean the music.” 

Aelin promised to text her as they went their separate ways. She spent the rest of the afternoon on her own, allowing herself one more practice of her piece for the next day before closing the lid to the piano and leaving it that way. Then, she was ready for her pre-concert ritual: a pint of Ben and Jerry’s and trash TV shows. She was halfway through her carton of Half Baked and several episodes into Love Island when she decided she would text Lysandra, too. _How much do you love me? Because I need a favor._  
Lysandra responded almost instantly. _No._

_ You don’t even know what I’m going to ask. _

_ Alright fine. _

_ Again, you still don’t know what I’m going to ask for. _

_ Well then quit beating around the bush and tell me. _

_ Will you help me do my hair tomorrow before my concert? Rowan is gonna be there soooo….. _

_ So you actually want to try for once? _

_ Wtf I try sometimes.  _

_ I suppose I can come help. But just because you’re cute. _

_ I know I am ;)  _

She put her phone facedown at the table, replacing it with her ice cream once again and letting the next episode of her show autoplay. 

*****

The next day, Aelin spent the morning warming up, making sure that she didn’t even look at the piece she would be playing later. She had a bad habit of over thinking things the day of a performance and making dumb mistakes. With her music already packed up and pushed out of her mind, she didn’t have that option. She made sure to text Rowan in the middle of the day, letting him know to pick up his ticket at the will call window, and took herself out to lunch before Lysandra came over. 

Aelin let herself splurge a little bit, get a greasy hamburger and fries at her favorite little cafe down the street. Comfort food, she told herself. She wasn’t quite sure why she was nervous enough to crave comfort food at all this time. She had played enough concerts that she usually didn’t feel this anxious - or, at least not this early before the concert itself. 

By the time she ambled her way home, taking her time and enjoying the warm spring day, Lysandra was already at the door waiting for her.

“You ask for a favor, and make me wait for you? Rude.” 

Aelin held up the brown paper bag she had gotten from the cafe before she left. “But I got you fries.”

“Alright, you’re forgiven.”

Aelin just rolled her eyes, handing over the bag so she could unlock the door to let them in. 

“So Rowan will be there?” Lysandra pressed, already digging fries out of the bag Aelin had given her. 

“He said something about wanting to hear me play, so I figured this would be as good a chance as any.”

“Sure. Show me what you’re wearing.” 

Aelin disappeared into her closet for a moment before emerging again to hang her dress from the top of the closet door for Lysandra to see. With a mouthful of fries, she looked the dress up and down before turning her gaze back to Aelin.

“That isn’t your normal concert blacks.” 

“No this is more like… a solo that I’m playing tonight.” 

“And you didn’t bother to tell anyone? What if we wanted to come listen, too?”

Aelin shrugged. “You didn’t ask. It’s not the first time.”

Lysandra rolled her eyes. “I’ll give you a pass this time since Rowan will be there. But next time, you should let us know. You know we’d love to come support you if you’d let us.” 

Aelin shrugged again, muttering, “It’s really not a big deal. Just-” she waved a hand vaguely in the direction of her dress, “help, please.” She watched as her friend sighed, finally setting aside her snack to inspect the dress more closely. It was simple, but stunning. Aelin liked to keep her clothing simple when she was performing. Less distractions or things to get in the way. The dress she had chosen was a deep emerald green with a V-neck in the front and a second v exposing much of her back. When she wore it, the hem just brushed the ground, allowing the toes of her shoes to peek out as she walked.

“We should sweep your hair up somehow,” Lysandra finally decided. “It’ll show off the back of the dress a bit.” 

“Sounds good to me.” Aelin planted herself on the cushioned stool she had in her room, and let Lysandra start playing with her hair. 

“I feel like I’ve talked plenty about me and Rowan already, and there’s not even anything to tell at this point. What about you? Are you ever going to grow a pair and make Aedion take you out?”

Lysandra glared at Aelin’s reflection in the mirror in front of them. “Are you ever going to grow up and leave it alone?” 

Aelin shrugged, a coy smile on her face. “You two have danced around each other for so long. You’re my friend, I just want you to be happy.”

“Well, as my  _ friend,” _ she emphasized the word, “I am asking you to just leave it. At least for now. I know it’s all in good fun, but…” she sighed but didn’t bother to finish her thought. 

“Did something happen, Lys?” 

She was silent for a moment, focusing instead on the mass of blonde hair in front of her. “Did you know that he started seeing someone recently?”

Aelin tried to turn in her seat, but Lysandra put her hands on either side of her head to keep her facing forward and ruining her work. “No, I didn’t hear about that. I mean, it must not be that serious if he didn’t bother to tell me yet.” 

“I don’t know. There seemed to be a lot of heart emojis when he was texting her the entire time we were all at the bar the other night.” Lysandra kept looking at Aelin’s hair as she spoke so Aelin couldn’t make eye contact with her. 

“I’m so glad you spy on him, since clearly he doesn’t tell me anything anymore,” Aelin teased, trying to lighten the mood a bit. 

Lysandra shrugged, but she finally looked at Aelin through the mirror with a playful glint in her eye. “What was I going to do?  _ Not _ look at who he was texting when he was sitting next to me? Come on, you know me better than that.” 

“What would I do without you, Lys?”

“Probably get yourself into a lot more trouble, because you can’t be sneaky to save your life.”

“You’re so right. But the important part is that I need to have a conversation with Aedion.” Aelin made sure to hold Lysandra’s gaze in the mirror. “I’ll call him this weekend and see who little miss heart-emojis might be. But only if you promise me that as soon as he’s single, you and him go out on a date. I’m not even asking for more than one if it doesn’t work. Just. One. Date.”

Lysandra continued to stare down her friend through the mirror. “Fine,” she finally relented.

Aelin successfully turned in her seat this time, not letting Lysandra hold her facing forward. She raised one of her hands between the two of them, little finger extended. “Pinky promise me.” 

Lysandra rolled her eyes, but linked her pinky finger through Aelin’s anyway. “Fine, fine, I pinky promise.”

Aelin turned back facing forward, a smug look on her face. “Good. And you know you don’t fuck with pinky promises.” 

*****

Lysandra ended up staying with Aelin the rest of the afternoon as she got ready for the concert, claiming that she had nothing better to do. When it was time for them to part ways, Lysandra made sure to remind Aelin to tell her about her next concert, and Aelin reminded Lysandra she was serious about their pinky promise. 

Now, though, that pinky promise was pushed out of her mind as she sat in her dressing room backstage, working to control her breathing. The nerves she experienced here, right before a concert, were some that she was more familiar with than the ones she had felt earlier in the day. No matter how many times she performed, there would always be that small seed of anxiety for all those people watching her and all those notes and rhythms she could play incorrectly. She had learned how to harness that anxiety into her performance though, putting her emotion behind her playing. 

She was playing Tchaikovsky’s Piano Concerto No. 1. It was one of her favorites - but then, she tended to favor anything that Tchaikovsky had written. She loved that he was technically a romantic composer, but was wildly creative with that in his composing. And, if she was honest, she was excited for a certain individual in the audience to experience the piece in the way she hoped to perform it. 

Aelin took one last deep breath in, held it for a moment, and let it out slowly before leaving her dressing room and into the wings of the backstage area where many of the orchestra members were gathering as well. She went to the front wall near the stage to peer at the tv screen showing the live feed of the stage she would be on in a moment, as well as some of the audience that was already seated and waiting. Her eyes were immediately drawn to the beautiful piano in the center of the stage, open and waiting for her. From there, she looked toward the audience - or at least, the backs of the heads of the audience. Though it was hard to say for sure, she almost thought one of the heads she saw looked like it was covered in silver hair.

The lights over the audience dimmed, letting them know the performance was about to start. Aelin stood back, allowing the orchestra members to file onto the stage and tune. As the concertmaster took her seat again, she and the conductor strode onto the stage to polite applause as well. The conductor motioned for her to take a bow first, and when she stood straight again for the conductor’s turn she allowed herself to look through the audience for just a moment. Almost immediately, her eyes caught on a silver head of hair and Rowan’s wide eyes totally fixed on her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if the way I did the text messages don't make sense and I can figure out a better way to do them. Thanks for sticking with me y'all :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all, I am so sorry this has been taking me so long to update. The start of the school year is CRAZY every year, but especially this year. But your comments and kudos give me life and are so appreciated!

Aelin swore she could feel Rowan’s eyes on her as she stepped toward the piano, adjusting her dress as she perched on the bench. She took one last slow breath before the conductor looked to her and she gave him a nod, letting him know that she was ready.

Her hands stayed lightly on her thighs as the orchestra played the few measures of the dramatic introduction led by the french horns. Aelin had always thought that if she hadn’t decided to play piano, she would have played the horn instead. Her part began moments later in large, commanding chords that continued as the strings picked up the melody. It was easy to lose herself in the theme. It was one that often got stuck in her head, particularly on good days - days she felt like dancing. She visualized a stunning couple sweeping across a dance floor in a waltz as the melody went on. 

All thoughts cleared her mind as the sound of the orchestra stopped behind her to allow for her first cadenza. Muscle memory had completely taken over. Her brain didn’t catch up with her again until after the first movement ended. She was pleasantly surprised that no one in the audience applauded between movements. It was an easy mistake to make for casual concert-goers, especially when this movement ended with such a flourish. 

The conductor raised his hands once again, but Aelin kept her hands resting on her legs as she had to begin the performance. Instead, she let her eyes close softly as the string players plucked lightly at their instruments. The flute soon took up the melody over the pizzicato accompaniment. When Aelin picked up the modulation of the melody from the flute, her eyes barely opened. Even her posture changed for the B section, however, as she began a much faster, almost frenetic style. She let her hands lead the way until the more romantic theme returned once more to end the second movement. 

The third and final movement had a more brief introduction from the orchestra behind her than in the previous movements. This first melody always reminded Aelin how very typically  _ Russian _ Tchaikovsky could sound - when he wanted to. That’s what she loved about his compositions, though. He didn’t always use the traditional Russian march-like style. The orchestra echoed the theme after her, even louder than when she played it, as she took a brief moment to rest. Then, her fingers danced farther to the right on the keyboard in front of her, leading into a new theme introduced by the violins. This one was more lyrical than the first, but no less intense. When it was her turn to pick up the melody, it quickly faded into her fingers flying on scales and arpeggios and back to the Russian-like theme once again. For this last movement, she always felt like each time it was her turn to play, her fingers had to move faster and faster to get her to the finish line in time. Notes and chords flew by before she could completely realize what she had played. Just as the concerto had begun dramatically, it ended dramatically as well with a perfect dramatic cadence, the most clear and final way to end a piece of music.

As the sound of the piano and the orchestra slowly faded away into the concert hall, Aelin took a moment to catch her breath. She needed it after the last movement in particular. You could hear a pin drop when the conductor finally decided that the final chord had dissipated completely and he could put his arms down, signaling the end of the piece. The audience erupted into a roar of applause, even emitting a few cheers and whistles. 

Aelin stood from the bench for the traditional thanks after a performance, her face splitting into a massive smile as the applause continued. She turned to the conductor who had stepped from his podium, offering her hand to shake. He surprised her by wrapping her in a quick hug as well. Next, she turned to the concertmaster, shaking her hand, too. Finally, she turned to the audience for her own bow. As she rose, the conductor motioned to the orchestra, who stood as one to acknowledge the applause. She and the conductor each took one final bow before making their way off the stage, leaving both the orchestra and much of the audience still standing.

Once they were safely off stage, the conductor wrapped her in one more hug and congratulated her on her performance, telling her how much he was looking forward to the next time he would get to work with her. Their conversation was cut short as the rest of the musicians began filing their way off the stage as well, many taking a moment to offer congratulations and appreciation to Aelin as they passed. She stayed rooted to her spot so that she could thank and shake the hands of as many of the orchestra members as she possibly could. They were fabulous musicians, and although she may have been at center stage this time she wanted to make sure they knew that their work did not go unnoticed. 

At long last, the stage was empty. Those orchestra members that were first off the stage had already put away their instruments safely in their cases. Aelin trailed behind them as they left the backstage area and entered the lobby of the concert hall, where many audience members still lingered. She couldn’t help but hope that one in particular had waited. 

She was bombarded with congratulations and more hand shaking as she wandered through the lobby. She did her best to seem engaged and thankful for the praise, but she knew she was sidetracked as she continued to scan the people around her for a head of silver hair. 

Finally,  _ finally _ she found him, leaning up against a wall not far from one of the doors leading into the hall. He gave her a smirk when he noticed her looking at him, and she fought through the crowd as quickly but politely as possible to make her way over to him.

“Rowan, I’m so glad you could make it!” she greeted him, her smile just as wide as it was when she finished her performance.

“Of course, I wouldn’t miss it.”

“So, what did you think of the concert?” 

“Aelin, it was…” he let out a breath and ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t have the words. ‘Incredible’ doesn’t do it justice.” 

She felt her cheeks turning hot. After all the compliments she had gotten that evening, this was the only one she had a hard time accepting. “That’s some high praise, there, Mr. Whitethorn.” 

“Only the truth. I’ve never heard anything like that before.” 

“Well, I’m glad you enjoyed it.” 

“I more than enjoyed it, Aelin. Would you...want to go for a drink or something? You know, to celebrate?” 

“I’d love that. But would you mind if I went back to the dressing room to change first? I might be a little overdressed.” She gestured vaguely at her floor length gown.

Rowan frowned suddenly, but still responded, “Sure, that’s fine.”

“Is there something wrong, Rowan?” Aelin’s brow furrowed in concern. 

“No, nothing’s wrong,” he answered quickly, his face flushing. “I just thought...well, you look stunning.” 

“Thank you,” she managed to mutter, a matching flush appearing on her face as well. “Look, I’ll just go change really fast and we can go. Actually, if you want to see what the backstage is like, you could come with me.” 

A small smile appeared on Rowan’s face. “I’d like that. As long as I won’t get you into trouble or anything like that.”

Aelin smirked back at him, regaining some of the confidence she seemed to have lost with his compliment. “You really think anyone would be mad at me after I put on a performance like that?” 

“Fair enough.” 

Aelin took Rowan’s hand in hers as she all but dragged him through the lobby towards the backstage area. She nodded and offered a few quick but polite ‘thank you’s to the congratulations she received as they walked, but made sure not to get caught up in any long-winded conversations. Finally, the din of the crowd faded as the doors fell closed behind them. 

“This hallway mostly has offices for people like the creative director, box office manager, technical director...people like that,” Aelin explained as Rowan took in the doors labeled with various names and job titles. They turned the corner that led to a wider hallway without any of the decor, wall coverings, or carpet that they saw near the offices. 

“These are the chorus or the orchestra dressing rooms, depending on what the performance is for the evening. The musicians will keep their cases in there while they’re on stage. And then this,” she pushed open a door across the hallway from the dressing rooms, “is how we get to the wings of the stage.” 

The space was dark, both from the lack of light as well as the color on the walls. Rowan looked around, taking in the ropes and cords lining the walls and reaching all the way up to the tall ceiling to operate the myriad of curtains and covers around the stage area. People were milling about where the orchestra had been seated only a little while earlier, moving chairs, stands, and some of the larger instruments, likely clearing the stage for whatever performance would be occurring there next. 

“It’s much bigger back here than I thought it would be,” Rowan commented, still taking it all in. 

“They host all kinds of different performances here, so they need space for full orchestras and sets for plays and things like that, too,” Aelin explained. “The orchestra pit is actually just that part of the stage right there,” she pointed to the front of the stage, closest to the audience, separated from the rest by a line running from left to right. “It’s all mechanical, so they just flip a switch and that part lowers down. Actually, I think that’s how they move the piano completely out of the way, too, if they need the space.” 

The two watched quietly for a few more moments as things were cleared away, but soon Aelin turned back towards the doors they had entered through. “I better change so we can get out of here,” she explained. Rowan followed her away from the stage, past the chorus dressing rooms, and through one last door, one labeled with her name on a piece of paper. 

“I get my own dressing room when I’m a soloist like tonight,” she mentioned with a grin. “There’s not much to it, but it’s nice to have a space to get my thoughts in order.” 

Rowan looked around the room. It was small, like she had said, but it was cozy. There was a vanity at one wall, complete with a large mirror and large light bulbs lining the top. Another wall had a small, shallow makeshift closet with just enough room to be able to hang clothes before a performance. Farthest away from where they had entered was another door that was partially open, where Rowan could see a small bathroom there for the performer to use. Aelin had her things spread out around the dressing room, clearly taking advantage of the space she had. Makeup was strewn across the vanity, a purse lying at the bottom of the closet, and another bag with the contents spilling out over the top was dumped haphazardly on the floor. 

“I’ll be right back,” she declared, grabbing the overflowing bag and striding into the bathroom before shutting the door behind her.

Aelin changed as quickly as she could in the small space, putting her gown back on the hanger and instead putting back on the simple, shorter cotton dress hse had brought along with her. She swept back into the dressing room where Rowan waited, slinging her purse over her shoulder and tossing the makeup she had left out into her tote. 

“Alright,” she finally turned back to Rowan, a breathless smile on her face. “Let me drop this stuff off at my car and I’m good to go.” 

He offered a warm smile back before reaching out to take the tote bag from her. She ignored the start of the flush blooming again on her face and let him take the bag without argument, instead draping her gown over both arms so it didn’t drag on the floor and leading the way back out from the dressing rooms, through the lobby, and outside.

*****

Twenty minutes later, Aelin watched from the front seat of Rowan’s car as he pulled into the parking lot of a restaurant she had never heard of before called Mistward. 

“It’s nothing fancy,” Rowan warned as he turned off the car, “but I know the owner. The food is incredible.”

“I trust you,” Aelin grinned, hopping out of the car before he had a chance to say anything else. She was  _ starving. _ She had been too nervous before the concert to eat much of anything. 

They were barely through the door when a booming voice called out Rowan’s name. The man that appeared, smiling brightly at them, was a stark contrast to the shout Aelin had heard. Where his voice was loud and commanding, the man himself was smaller with hair that had turned white with age, moving with what Aelin could only describe as a hobble. Still, it was clear from the brightness in his eyes that the voice matched his personality perfectly. 

“Rowan! How long has it been?” He greeted the younger man with a hug - one that Aelin was somewhat surprised to see him return to willingly. He seemed reserved enough that he would be the kind of person to shy away from that sort of display of affection.

“Too long, Emrys.” Rowan released the other man, grinning ear to ear. “Emrys, this is my friend Aelin.” 

Aelin greeted the man with a warm smile that he quickly returned, reaching forward to grasp her hand in his. “Always wonderful to meet a friend of Rowan’s.”

“Good to meet you, too, Emrys.” 

“Now, enough chit-chat,” he decided, looking them both over. “I’m sure you came hungry, let’s fix that.” He led the two of them through the restaurant to a small table tucked near the back corner. 

“You strike me as a wine drinker,” Emrys noted, peering at Aelin with a playful glint in his eyes. “Red or white?” 

“Is it that obvious?” Aelin teased. “I tend to like whites, but I’m not picky.” 

“I’ve got just the thing for you. I’ll be right back.” And with that, Emrys was gone again, moving faster that Aelin would have thought possible.

Rowan looked at her from across the table, a small smile tugging at his lips but a glint of worry in his eyes as well. “I hope this is okay,” he muttered. “Emrys tends to just bring out the things that he thinks you would like. He’s almost never wrong. But if you’d prefer, I can get you a menu-” he was already halfway out of his seat before Aelin put a hand on his, stopping him.

“This is great, Rowan.” She hoped she sounded reassuring. “This is so unique. And it’s great to meet a friend of yours. How did you and Emrys meet, anyway?” 

Rowan’s shoulders seemed to relax slightly as he sat back down and began talking. As their conversation flowed throughout the evening, Emrys pocked back to their table every so often to bring them food and drinks, all of which were absolutely delicious.

Aelin learned that Rowan had met Emrys when they were both in the Air Force together, on a specific deployment at the beginning of Rowan’s career. They had kept contact ever since, and when Emrys retired he opened his restaurant to fulfill a lifelong dream of his. From there, they talked about all the different places they had visited, Rowan’s travels mostly through the military while Aelin was able to wander to play concerts in many different places. 

They talked about what had brought them to their current career fields, their college experiences, and their friends that had become family. The conversation flowed more easily than Aelin ever could have hoped, until finally she had to all but beg Emrys not to bring them any more food. She couldn’t eat another bite - a feeling she never thought she would actually feel. Once she convinced him that she was completely full and he relented, she leaned back in her chair and settled into the comfortable silence she and Rowan found themselves in at the table. It was several minutes before either one of them decided to say anything at all.

“Thank you so much for bringing me here,” Aelin mused. “This was incredible. Emrys is amazing, the food was great. And thank you for being at the concert.”

Rowan’s smile grew impossibly larger. “I’m glad I could be there. But you look exhausted. Time for me to take you home?”

“Unfortunately, I think it might be.” 

He stood and offered his arm to her, escorting her out of the restaurant with a final wave goodbye to Emrys as they left. 

They were mostly quiet as Rowan drove back to where Aelin had left her car at the concert hall. They chatted a bit about their plans for the coming week, but spent most of the time just enjoying each other’s company. She couldn’t help but feel a bit disappointed when he pulled up right next to where her car was parked, but he unbuckled his seatbelt and got out of the car with her.

“I had a great evening, Aelin,” he started, his eyes flicking back and forth between her and the ground. “If it’s okay with you, I’d like to see you again. Like this, I mean. Not just with everyone else.”

Despite herself, Aelin found her gaze dropping to her shoes as well. “I’d like that too.” When she finally looked back up, Rowan’s smile was as big as she had seen yet. 

“I’ll let you get home and get to sleep, then,” he sighed. “Text me when you get home safe.” He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her cheek, whispering a quick “good night” before pulling back again.

As they went their separate ways, Aelin couldn’t help but brush her fingers over the spot on her face where his lips had been, a pleasant tingling sensation in their place now and reminding her of the best night she had had in a long while. 


	5. Chapter 5

The morning after her concert, Aelin was standing on Aedion’s front stoop, pounding on the door. She had called him and warned him that she would be there. It wasn’t her fault that he didn’t pick up. 

Finally, the door flew open in the middle of her knocking, leaving Aelin with her fist in the air. Aedion had clearly just rolled out of bed, his hair mussed and half dressed in only a pair of sweatpants. But the bleariness in his eyes didn’t hide his irritation at being woken up.

“What the fuck do you want, Aelin?” he all but growled at her.

“I brought donuts!” she pointed out cheerfully, lifting up the box as proof and flashing him her sweetest smile. He sighed heavily but relented, disappearing back into the house but leaving the door open, assuming she’d follow behind him. She did just that though, nudging the door closed behind her and setting the donuts on his kitchen table before opening up some of the curtains around the house to let some light in. 

“What is so important that you’re pouding on my door so damn early on a Saturday?” Aedion grunted, plopping himself in a kitchen chair.

“It’s not early, Aedion, it’s almost 10:30.” 

“It’s also my day off.” 

“Just shut up and eat, I brought you donuts with maple frosting. And while you’re at it, why don’t you put a fucking shirt on, too.” 

Aedion narrowed his eyes at her, but flung open the top on the box in front of him anyway. He picked one out and took a bite before putting it down again, trudging back to his room. Aelin had to fight to keep herself from smirking, knowing she had won. Aedion would do anything for the maple donuts from the bakery she had stopped at. When he appeared in the kitchen again, he was even wearing a shirt. Even so, Aelin waited for him to start on another donut before she started talking again. She didn’t want to push her luck.

“Rough night?” she finally broke the silence. 

He shot her a look, still munching on his donut. “It was fine,” he grumbled, not quite believably.

“Really?” She raised her eyebrows at him, challenging him. When he just stared back, she heaved a sigh and marched into the living room before returning to the kitchen with several beer bottles and even a liquor bottle in her hands, all empty. She unceremoniously dumped them on the table in front of him. “Unless you threw a party last night you were rude enough to not invite me to, this doesn’t look like your night was  _ fine.” _

Aedion dragged a heavy hand through his hair. “What do you want me to say, Aelin? Didn’t you have that date with Whitethorn last night? Are you just taking it out on me because you didn’t get any?”

“What the fuck is wrong with you, Aedion? I came over here to check on you and this is the shit you pull?”

“No one asked you to come check on me.”

“And no one asked  _ you _ to act like a complete dickhead, but here we are. My date was  _ fine _ last night, by the way. Thanks for asking.”

Aedion just groaned in response, dropping his head onto the table. He was quiet for a few moments before Aelin barely heard him mutter, “Lysandra won’t talk to me.” 

Aelin scooted her chair closer to him but said nothing, instead waiting for her cousin to continue speaking. After only a brief pause, he did just that.

“All week I haven’t heard from her. Not a phone call, text, nothing. I thought she was just busy but she sent me one message yesterday to tell me I need to go to one of your concerts soon. I texted her right back, and then tried to call, and she just ignored all of it.” 

“So you’re half drinking yourself to death because you’re being ghosted?”

“It’s more than just that.” Aedion finally picked his head up to look at her. 

“I figured,” Aelin said as gently as she could. “Does it have anything do with whoever you were texting at the bar last weekend?”

“Fuck,” Aedion rolled his eyes. “I mean, I guess it does. It was just a couple of casual dates, it shouldn’t be this big of a deal. But then I got a message from him-”

“Wait,  _ him _ ?” Aelin blurted, clapping a hand over her mouth as soon as she realized what she had said.

“Fuck!” Aedion repeated, more forcefully this time. 

“Aedion, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean that the way it sounded.” 

“I know, Ae,” he waved her off.

“It’s just that Lysandra noticed you were texting someone last weekend and was...disappointed. We spent a good bit of time yesterday shit talking about the hypothetical girl you were sending heart emojis to.”

“Of fucking course she noticed.” He rose from his chair and swept the empty bottles from the table into the trash. “I guess we have some stuff to talk about. We may as well get comfortable.” He reached a hand down to Aelin and she took it, letting him haul her out of her chair.

They made their way into the living room together, Aeling sinking into the couch while Aedion collected the last of the bottles she hadn’t picked up earlier. Once he threw out the trash he found, he flopped onto the couch next to Aelin, only for her to drape her legs across his. He rolled his eyes but didn’t move her away.

“So you said Lysandra was disappointed when she thought I was texting some chick?” Aedion asked.

“Oh no, we’re not starting with that. This guy you’re talking to, though…”

“...is not a factor in this anymore,” he finished for her. “Like I said, it was just a couple of dates. The whole thing...it’s not going to work out.” 

“So is this why you’ve never tried to go out with Lys? Because you’re gay? I’m so sorry I’ve been pushy-”

“Ae, it’s fine. I’m not gay. I’m...bi, I guess. I don’t know. I’ve never bothered to put a label on it.”

“So then this wasn’t the first time?”

“No, it wasn’t. I’ve...dabbled.”

“So then how come you’ve never brought a guy around with you?”

Aedion shot her a look. “Are you really asking me that question?” 

Thinking about it, Aelin knew it was only every once in a while that Aedion would appear with a girl on his arm - always beautiful and always short-lived. She couldn’t think of a single one she had seen more than once. She had imagined there were others she didn’t bring around with him, but had never bothered to ask him about it.

“So your revolving door of women extended to men, too, then?” 

“Shit, Ae, could you make that sound any worse?”

“Am I wrong though?” 

Aedion sighed and dragged a hand over his face, exasperated. “No, I guess not. But, damn, you know I’m gone too much for anything serious.”

She knew he had a bit of a point there. He deployed often, usually every six months or so. There were times where he couldn’t call home for days, maybe even weeks at a time, and some deployments were the kind that no one truly knew where he was. It was easy to see now how hard it would be for him to start a relationship knowing that he would be leaving again soon. 

But, she also knew there was an exception to that rule.

“How many times have you been shipped out and Lysandra was still there to greet you at the airport when you came back?” she pointed out. 

“That’s different,” he shot back.

“Oh, please,” she scoffed at him. “It’s not different at all, and you know it. You were the one just a few minutes ago demanding to know  _ how _ disappointed she was when she thought you were texting another girl. I mean, how dense can you be? Why do you think she’s been ghosting you all week?” 

Aedion tipped his head back to rest on the back of the couch, staring up at the ceiling in silence for a few moments. “So you’re telling me,” he finally said, almost in a whisper, “that Lysandra is refusing to talk to me specifically because she saw me texting heart emojis?”

“I guess that’s the short version of it, yes.”

He shook his head, still not looking over at Aelin. “She deserves better than me,” he finally muttered. “She doesn’t need someone who’s always gone and can’t call and all that bullshit.” 

Aelin swung her legs back onto the floor and sat up suddenly, startling Aedion. “Why don’t you let  _ her _ make that decision?” she snapped at him. “I can’t fucking believe you! It’s not your job to decide what she  _ deserves _ , she’s a grown-ass adult and can do that for herself. Just fucking text her and tell her what happened with this guy of yours. Which, by the way, I don’t understand why you’re being so cagey about that. But my point is you need to finally grow a pair and  _ talk _ to her before she finds someone else that doesn’t wait for years before they finally ask her out.” 

Aedion’s face looked like he had just been slapped. There was a heartbeat where Aelin thought she had been too harsh with him, but all of a sudden he burst forward and wrapped her in a bear hug. She squeezed him right back, appreciating that they had the kind of relationship where they could tell each other anything and call out their bullshit. When he finally let go of her, he immediately stood up from the couch and walked off.

“Where the hell are you going?” she yelled after him.

“Getting my phone to text Lys,” he called back. “And to get another donut.” 

*****

Aelin decided to spend the rest of the day with Aedion. It wasn’t like she had anything else to do on a Sunday, anyway, and she wanted to make sure she could approve any messages he typed up for Lysandra before he actually sent them to her. By midafternoon, they had a date set up for later in the week and they were both lounging on the couch half asleep.

“How’d your concert go last night anyway?” Aedion asked suddenly, sounding like he just realized she hadn’t said anything about it. 

“It went well,” Aelin shrugged. “It was one of my favorite pieces, so hopefully other people enjoyed it as much as I did.” 

Aedion nodded, but didn’t say anything for a while. When he did finally speak again, his voice was quieter than usual. “I’m sorry I haven’t been to any of your performances in a while.” 

“Aedion, it’s fine.” 

“No, it’s not. I’m proud of you. I hope you know that.” 

“I do, Aedion. It’s okay.” When she met his gaze, she saw just a hint of silver lining his eyes. She pretended not to notice. 

“I’m going to do better about making sure you always have someone there for you from now on,” he promised. “I know you used to always have someone in the audience, your mom or dad, or…” He got quieter and quieter as he spoke, trailing off completely by the end. He didn’t have to finish his sentence for Aelin to know who he was talking about.  _ Sam. _ Between him and her parents, there wasn’t a single performance she ever had that she didn’t have at least one person in the audience for her. When she lost them, though, there wasn’t always someone there just to hear her play. 

She could tell by Aedion’s reaction that his heart still hurt in much the same way hers did when they started talking about her parents and Sam, especially in this context. They had all been on their way to one of her concerts together - a solo performance, like the one the night before - when a drunk driver took them all from her in one fell swoop. As much as Aelin had lost that night, Aedion had lost almost the same. He had more or less grown up with Aelin as his sister, his aunt and uncle playing the role of his parents for much of his life. 

Aelin couldn’t find any words. She knew whatever she said wouldn’t make Aedion feel any better in that moment. It made sense why he hadn’t been to many of her performances since that day. It had taken her months and plenty of therapy to get to the point that felt ready to perform again. It wasn’t his fault that he didn’t have that same kind of time that she had to process. So instead of saying anything she just reached out and held his hand, a silent reminder that she was there. 

He looked back up at her and gave her a small smile, squeezing her hand in response. They both took a moment to take deep breaths and dry their eyes before letting go again. 

“Back to the point I was  _ trying  _ to make,” Aedion gave her a bigger smile this time, one that reached his eyes. “I’m glad that Whitethorn was there for you yesterday.”

Aelin couldn’t help but wrinkle her nose at him. 

“What’s your problem? Not a good night?”

“No,” she sighed. “My night was fine. I just don’t understand why you keep calling him  _ Whitethorn _ like that.” 

He barked out a laugh. “Sorry,  _ Rowan, _ then. Habit, I guess, using last names at work. You going to see him again?” 

“That’s the plan. He was a perfect gentleman last night. But I didn’t realize that you worked with him.” 

“He moved into my squadron in the last few months. Seems like one of the better guys you could have picked out the sixteenth, but that’s not saying much.”

“I’m so glad you trust my judgement.” She rolled her eyes at him, but couldn’t help her grin as she reached across for her phone that way lying on the coffee table. She had a few notifications from throughout the day, but one in particular stood out to her. “Speaking of  _ Whitethorn, _ look who texted me.” She flipped her phone around so Aedion could see the screen. She had a message from Rowan pulled up for him to read:  _ Hey there, are you busy Friday evening?  _

Before she could stop him he grabbed the phone out of her hands, scrolling back a bit to see some of the earlier messages. “What the fuck, Aedion?” she practically growled as she snatched the phone back from him. 

“He made sure you texted him when you got home,” he pointed out. 

For some reason, Aelin felt her face flush. “Yeah, he asked me to let him know.” 

“Don’t fuck this up, Ae. He seems like a good one.”

“Again, what the fuck Aedion? I could be saying the same thing to you about Lysandra right now.” 

“You already did tell me the same thing.” 

Aelin just shrugged, fighting her grin. “You better prepare yourself for when we start having double dates.”

Aedion dropped his head onto the back of the couch, looking up at the ceiling in mock exasperation. “Gods help us all.” 

She just giggled in response, unlocking her phone once more to type out a quick response to Rowan:  _ I wish I could. I’m leaving Wednesday for a masterclass. Won’t be back until Saturday evening. _

_ Bummer! When you get back, then.  _

_ For sure when I get back!  _

“So,” Aelin turned her attention back to Aedion, “are you going to text me all the details about your date this week, or will I have to get them from Lysandra?” 


	6. Chapter 6

Aelin crammed the last of her belongings into her suitcase, ready to be back home again after a long weekend away teaching masterclasses and workshops. Her second evening out of town, she had received an unexpected phone call from Rowan just to say hello and see how things were going. She had been caught off guard, but pleased. No one she had dated before had ever gone out of their way to check in on her like that. 

Immediately after her phone call with Rowan, she texted Lysandra to tell her about it. Her best friend was quick to let her know in no uncertain terms that she had no choice now but to marry the man. Aelin laughed at her, but couldn’t help the small swell she felt in her heart knowing that she had picked a good one this time. 

She and Rowan had been texting each other on and off for the rest of the weekend. At first they just chatted generally about how their days were going, her classes and his job, but eventually they set up another date for when she came back. She pulled out her phone to text him again as she collapsed on the bed.

_ A: I cannot wait to sleep in my own bed again tomorrow night.  _

_ R: I’ve always thought hotel beds were pretty comfortable. Can’t say I sleep well away from home though, either. _

_ A: You clearly don’t have enough pillows and blankets on your own bed then. _

_ R: I have a perfectly acceptable number of pillows and blankets. You have someone to pick you up from the airport tomorrow, right? _

_ A: Yeah, Lysandra will be there for me. Thanks for checking :) _

_ R: Of course. Just give me a call if you need me for some reason. _

_ A: Thanks, Rowan! I’m going to sleep now. Gotta be up at the ass crack of dawn for this flight. Night! _

_ R: Good night, see you soon. _

Once again, Aelin fell asleep with a smile on her face. That seemed to be happening quite a lot, recently.

*****

It was close to 2:00 in the afternoon the next day before Aelin decided she was ready to face the day. Lysandra had picked her up at the airport that morning and deposited her directly at her house, telling Aelin that she would talk to her later in the day after she had taken a nap and was no longer as grumpy. 

Aelin had only stayed awake long enough to unpack her suitcase a bit before she collapsed into her bed and slept for several hours.

Although she was awake now, she was still unconvinced that she should leave her bed at all that day. 

Instead, she rolled over and grabbed her phone to see what she may have missed while she was dead to the world. Almost immediately, her eyes caught on a message from Rowan. 

_ Make it home okay? _

She typed back as quickly as she could.  _ Yeah, sorry, got home and fell asleep right away. I made it though!  _

_ R: Glad to hear it! Looking forward to seeing you soon now that you’re home. _

Aelin thought for a while about her response, typing and deleting several messages before finally hitting the send button:  _ If you’re really looking forward to it, I’m just sitting around and watching movies this evening. You’re welcome to join me if you’re free. _

On one hand, she hoped the message didn’t come off as too desperate or needy. On the other hand, she liked Rowan too much to give a shit. 

Still, she was nervous despite herself, and tossed her phone away from her on the bed, trying her best to ignore its existence until it chimed to alert her to a message. Then she couldn’t grab at it fast enough. 

Just as she had hoped, it was a response from Rowan:  _ I would love that. What time should I come over? _

Aelin kicked her legs under the blanket in excitement like a child.

_ A: How about 7? _

_ R: See you then. _

Aelin spent the rest of the afternoon napping just a bit longer and cleaning up a few things around the house. She dressed herself in a pair of leggings and a t-shirt, comfy but cute enough. Finally, she could get to the important part: snacks. She was just pouring the popcorn into a bowl when there was a knock on the door. As she went to answer it she glanced at the clock - 7:00 on the dot. 

“You’re right on time,” she told Rowan as soon as she opened the door. “And by that, I mean you got here before I ate all the popcorn.” 

He grinned as he stepped through the door she was holding open for him. “Well then it’s a good thing I brought some of my own.” He lifted up a back of cheesy popcorn she hadn’t even noticed him holding. 

“You are my new favorite person. Cheesy popcorn is the best snack on the planet!” She took the popcorn bowl she had been holding and shoved it into his hands, taking his bag instead. Rowan let her, his grin staying on his face. 

“See, but here’s the problem,” he continued, holding the bowl she had given him. “Now I have to choose between cheesy popcorn and buttery popcorn. Let me show you how it’s really done.” 

Rowan toed off his sneakers, leaving them by the front door, and walked back towards where he could see the kitchen. Aelin followed him,  _ definitely not _ appreciating the view of his ass in the joggers he wore. She averted his gaze just in time for him to turn around again to face her, asking, “Do you have another bowl this size?” 

She dug through a cabinet to find another bowl from him, and he took it as well as the bag of the cheesy popcorn she was holding. He put both bowls on the table, dumped the cheesy popcorn in the same one as buttery popcorn, and then dug in his pocket and found a package of M&Ms that he opened and put in the bowl as well. Aelin looked on skeptically as he placed the empty bowl on top of the full one and started shaking everything to mix it.

“I feel like I should be offended by what you’ve done to my favorite snack,” she quipped. Rowan just shook his head and offered her the bowl of the now thoroughly mixed snacks. She took a small handful, narrowing her eyes at him as she unceremoniously shoved it in her mouth. She took her time chewing, staying silent and never taking her eyes off of him. Finally, he raised his eyebrows, waiting for her answer.

“You, Rowan Whitethorn,” she pointed a finger at him seriously, “are a gods damned genius.” She took a much larger handful this time and continued munching. 

“I told you this was the best way to eat it.” He pulled it away from her before she could grab more. “But don’t eat it all before we start a movie!” 

Instead of grabbing popcorn, she took his hand instead, leading him to the front room where she plopped on the couch and patted the space next to her for him to sit. He did as he was told, setting the popcorn bowl on the coffee table in front of them. 

“So what have you gotten up to today?” Rowan asked, getting himself comfortable next to her.

“Nothing much. Unpacking, napping, texting Lysandra to help her get ready for her date with Aedion tonight. The usual.” 

“Really? Lysandra and Aedion?” Rowan raised a brow.

“Yeah, they’ve been going back and forth for years, kind of just missing each other. I think I finally got them on the same page right before I went out of town. Why, you really can’t seem them together?” 

Rowan thought for a moment before responding. “It’s less so that I can’t see them together and more that I can’t really see Ashryver with anyone romantically at all.” 

Aelin couldn’t help but giggle at the way he used her cousin’s last name. “I got after Aedion the other day for calling you Whitethorn, you know.” 

Rowan shrugged. “Sorry, just habit, I guess. That’s all we use at work.” 

“Yeah, he said something about you two working together now. Is that why you can’t picture him involved with anyone?”

“I suppose it is. He’s pretty no-nonsense there, but he has to be. I’m sure he’s different in social settings.” 

“You’re probably right. I have no idea what he does at work, he tends to be pretty tight-lipped about it. Actually, come to think about it, I don’t really know what you do at work, either.” 

“I’m kind of the middle man between the Air Force and the Army most of the time. I’ll help make plans for operations and things while I’m here at home, and when they deploy me I go with an Army unit and coordinate any support they need from the Air Force.” 

She thought about that for a moment. “So it sounds like you’ve got the kind of job where you can’t talk about a whole lot of specifics.”

“You’d be right there. Also probably why Aedion doesn’t say much about work either.” 

Aelin knew that Aedion purposefully didn’t say much about his deployments, but she also knew better than to ask. She had tried, once, after he came home from a deployment early in his career and she had noticed the way his usual smile fell when he thought no one was looking. He had yelled at her then - apologized later, but she learned it wasn’t something he wanted to talk about, at least not with her. Instead, she quietly left a business card for the therapist she had been seeing since she had lost Sam and her parents. Now, she wondered if Rowan had anyone he could talk to.

“Speaking of the Air Force,” Rowan’s voice pulled her out of her thoughts again. “There’s actually a military ball coming up next month. I know it’s still kind of a ways away, but I was wondering if you’d want to come with me. Like, as my date.” 

Aelin’s face lit up. An excuse for her to dress up  _ and  _ see Rowan in uniform? How could she pass it up? “Rowan, I’d absolutely  _ love _ to go!” she almost squealed in excitement. “Are you sure you want to bring me?”

He bit his lip as if to hide his smile. “Yes, Aelin, I’m sure.” 

She gasped, freezing suddenly. “Wait, is it something Aedion would be a part of too?” 

Rowan shrugged, looking away from her. “I mean, I guess he’d be invited, but I’m not sure if…”

“I have to text Lysandra!” Aelin cut him off. She reached across the coffee table and grabbed her phone before snuggling back into Rowan’s side so he could see the screen as well, smiling to herself as he rested an arm across her shoulders. 

_ Ask Aedion about the military ball _ was the only message she sent Lysandra. She knew her friend loved an excuse to dress up as much as she did. 

Only moments later, three dots popped up on Aelin’s screen to let her know that Lysandra was texting back.

_ He says you can fuck right off lmfao _

Aedion always acted like he hated formal events like this, but somehow always ended up enjoying himself anyway. Aelin cackled at the response, but stopped short as she  _ felt _ rather than heard Rowan’s chuckle. She was definitely appreciating their closeness. 

Aelin responded to Lysandra:  _ We can get ready together! You’ll look so hot he’ll forget about his bad fucking attitude. _

_ L: I always do that ;) _

_ A: Ugh you’re so gross. Enjoy your date. But not too much. I don’t want to hear about that. _

Aelin moved to put her phone away again, but not before she saw the middle finger emoji Lysandra had sent as her response. 

“Alright,” she declared, “movie time. I was thinking ‘Wall-E.’”

“Sounds perfect.” Rowan grinned. 

She started the movie and got another few handfuls of popcorn, then settled back into the couch and snuggled up into Rowan’s side. She tucked her legs under her and pulled a blanket over their laps before finally resting her head on his shoulder as they watched. 

Aelin did her best to focus on the movie, she really did. But Rowan was just so  _ distracting _ . She could feel the swell of his muscles she was leaning against, and the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed. It was made even harder for her when he shifted slightly next to her. 

A minute later, he did it again.

Then  _ again. _

Aelin raised her head from his shoulder to peer at him. “You okay?” 

Rowan looked away from her as he answered. “Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry.”

She laid her head back down to keep watching, but he shifted again only a little while later. Again, she picked her head up so she could see him. “You sure you’re okay?”

He heaved a sigh, and her breath caught just a little as he looked right at her. “Honestly? I can’t really focus on the movie.”

“I’m sorry,” she apologized. “Would you rather watch something else? Or-”

“No, Aelin,” he cut her off. “I’m distracted by you.” 

“Oh.” She couldn’t think of anything else to say.

“Yeah,” he breathed. “If it’s okay with you, I’d really like to kiss you right now.” 

Aelin couldn’t do anything but nod in response. 

Time seemed to slow as Rowan leaned forward and did exactly as he had promised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact, right after my dad and my stepmom's first date, she had to go out of town for work, and he called a few days in just to say hi and see how things were going. To this day she SWEARS that's when she knew he was the one <3 I just think it's such a sweet, non-threatening way to let someone know that you're thinking about them and I really wanted to include something like that here.


	7. Chapter 7

The movie they had picked out was quickly forgotten that night. Instead, they spent the time making out on Aelin’s living room couch like they were teenagers again. Any time they came up for air, they stayed snuggled up together, enjoying just having one another close. 

Aelin had no idea what time it was when she woke up with her legs curled in Rowan’s lap and her head resting on his shoulder. He had his arm wrapped around her and his head resting on her own as he dozed as well. They must have drifted off at some point. She did her best to raise her head slowly, hoping to wake Rowan up as gently as she could.

He drew in a breath as he woke, bringing his head up as well, and attempted to rub the sleep from his eyes. They were still left looking bleary and unfocused, though. 

“Aelin, I’m so sorry,” he grumbled, his voice lower than normal, heavy with sleep. She couldn’t help but think she wouldn’t mind waking up to that voice more often. “I had to be up early for PT today.” 

She had heard Aedion bitch about early PT plenty of times before, those days when they made the whole squadron show up to the base at the ass crack of dawn so they could all work out together. Most of them preferred it when they could use their own time to work out how they wanted.

“Rowan, there’s no need to apologize. Why would you agree to come over if you had to PT this morning?” 

He ducked his head, shrugging, and Aelin thought she could see the hint of a flush on his face, even in the dim light coming from the TV that was still on. “Honestly?” he muttered, his voice still gravely, “I just really wanted to see you.” 

A matching flush bloomed on her own face knowing that he had been as excited to see her as she was him. “Well, I’m not letting you drive home as tired as you are,” she decided. 

“I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not. You can barely keep your eyes open.” 

“If I get an Uber home it’s going to be a pain to get my car from here tomorrow. I promise, I’m fine to drive home.” 

“Then don’t get an Uber. Stay here.” 

Rowan had opened his mouth to respond before it really hit him what she had said. 

“Please,” Aelin continued. “It’s actually kind of important to me that you don’t drive if you’re not one hundred percent. Please, just stay here.” 

He nodded, wisely not asking about what made it so important to her. She trusted him, but didn’t think now was the time for that conversation. “Alright, I’ll stay here. I can just sleep on the couch. Do you mind if I use this blanket here?” He nodded at the blanket that was still partially draped over both of them from when they had started the movie. 

“Now you’re just being stupid. You’re not sleeping on the couch, there’s more than enough room in the bed.” Before he could try to argue she reached over and grabbed his hand, dragging him behind her to her room. She pointed out the bathroom to him so he could wash up if he wanted, and she changed into an oversized t-shirt and soft shorts to sleep in while she waited for her turn in the bathroom. 

When Rowan came back into the room, Aelin stole a quick kiss from him before moving past and into the bathroom to wash her face. He had tried to hide the way he appreciated her legs in the shorts she wore, but she noticed.

He was still standing in the middle of the room where she had left him, looking uncomfortable, when she came back.

“Something wrong, Rowan?” she asked, wasting no time and tucking herself under the covers.

“No, nothing’s wrong, it’s just…” he lifted a hand to the back of his head, avoiding her eyes. “You sure about this?” 

“Yes, I’m sure. We’re just going to sleep. It’s fine.” She offered what she hoped was a reassuring smile. It seemed to work, though, as he turned to take off his shirt and flip off the light before climbing into the bed with her. 

Before the lights turned off, Aelin caught a quick glimpse of Rowana without his shirt. She could see all the muscles she had felt under his shirt earlier in the day, as well-defined as she had imagined they were. He carried himself with such grace that it was hard to look away. Looking at him, Aelin was sure of one thing: she was well and truly  _ fucked _ . 

The next few weeks saw Rowan and Aelin together more often than not. Sometimes they would have “real” dates, as Rowan had taken to calling them, when they went out together to dinner or for coffee. Other times, they were content just to be in the same place as each other, spending time at the other’s house doing nothing in particular. After that first night spent together, Rowan seemed to settle in a bit more, staying over at her place several times and inviting her over to stay at his, too. Aelin was becoming very fond of their “sleepovers,” telling Rowan that if he could call their dinners out “real dates,” she could come up with a name for their nights in. 

That night, though, was the military ball he had asked her to. She and Lysandra had decided to make a day out of it since they hadn’t been seeing as much of each other as usual. They had convinced Elide to join them as well, since she would be there that evening with Lorcan, too. 

Of course, the three women found themselves lounging around Aelin’s house sipping a few too many mimosas than was wise and catching up.

“I can’t believe how quickly your wedding is coming up, El,” Lysandra mused. They had spent the last several hours talking through Elide’s plans, helping her problem solve and just letting her vent. It was getting close though - only a matter of weeks away now. 

“Don’t I know it,” Elide sighed. “But whatever. We’ve talked about that enough. Any more and it’s just going to stress me out even more. Tell me about something fun instead. Aelin, tell me about how things are going with Rowan. Obviously well if you’re going with him today, right?”

Aelin couldn’t help the smile that bloomed on her face at the mention of her and Rowan. “Things are going really well,” she admitted. “We’ve been spending a lot of time together recently.”

“No shit,” Lysandra butted in. “It’s like I haven’t seen you in weeks. Every time I’ve texted you to see what you’re up to, he’s either over at yours or you’re staying at his.”

“Ooh, staying over at his place?” Elide almost sang. “Get it, girl.” 

Aelin just rolled her eyes, scoffing at her friends.

“What’s that face for?” Lysandra asked. “You’re consenting adults, it’s not a big deal.” 

“We’re not consenting to anything,” Aelin muttered. “We haven’t...done anything.” 

“You mean to tell me,” Elide’s eyes were wide as she spoke, “that you have spent more than one night in the same bed as  _ Rowan Whitethorn, _ who looks like he does, and you haven’t actually  _ slept _ with him?”

“Oh, I’ve slept just fine,” Aelin snarked back. “Also, did you just call the guy  _ I’m _ seeing hot when  _ you’ve _ got a fiance?”

Her friend just shrugged. “I’m engaged, not blind. Objectively, he’s hot.” 

Lysandra didn’t say anything, but nodded in agreement. Aelin turned her attention to her instead.

“And  _ you’re  _ dating my cousin now.” 

“Yes, who is also objectively hot, and who I’ve slept with. You’re slacking.” 

“I’m not slacking, I’m just...going slower than usual. He’s being respectful, and I don’t want to fuck anything up.” 

“Wait, he hasn’t initiated anything either?” Elide asked, placing her now empty glass on the table in front of them. 

“I mean, not really.” Aelin bit her lip, thinking back to the time they had spent together so far. “He’s a really good kisser, though. There’s been plenty of that.” 

“I wonder if he’s being overly cautious with you,” Elide thought out loud. “I think I remember Lorcan telling me about some long-term relationship he was in or something like that.” 

Aelin shrugged. “He hasn’t said anything about that. Maybe I’ll do some digging. But it’s really not a big deal, we’ll sleep together when we’re both ready.” 

“You might change your tune when you see him later,” Lysandra ginned at her. “There’s something about a man in a dress uniform.” 

The women continued chatting as they moved from the living room to Aelin’s bedroom and bathroom, working on getting themselves ready. Makeup was strewn across the counter as they traded products back and forth between them. Hair tools were plugged into almost every outlet, and music was blaring from the speakers in Aelin’s room while they danced and sang along. It took them at least twice as long to get themselves together as it would have if they did it on their own, but Aelin decided this was still the best way to do it anyway.

Once they finished their hair and makeup, Lysandra and Elide headed out to get dressed at their own places for Aedion and Lorcan to pick them up from there. Aelin was left alone to dig through her closet to make her final decision on what to wear. She was lucky enough that as a concert pianist, she had plenty of floor length dresses to choose from. 

It took her an embarrassingly long time to decide between two dresses she had pulled from her closet. By the time she finally settled on a blue lace dress with an open back, she was still struggling with the buttons between her shoulder blades when Rowan knocked on her door. Holding the dress to her shoulders, she hurried to the front and flung open the door.

“Thank the gods you’re here,” she said by way of greeting. “I cannot get these buttons on the back by myself.” 

“Nice to see you, too,” Rowan chuckled as he stepped through the door, shutting it behind him. “Let me see if I can help.” 

Aelin turned around in front of him and moved her hair out of the way so he could reach the buttons more easily. He took his time doing each one up, and when he was finished he slid his hands down her sides, gently pulling her closer to him. He pressed a kiss just below her ear, whispering, “you look beautiful.” She turned in his arms, draping her own around his neck and pressing a kiss to his lips.

“You don’t look too bad yourself,” she grinned back at him. His uniform was well tailored, with medals and ribbons she had no idea the meaning of pinned to his broad chest. Lysandra was right - there was  _ something _ about a man in a dress uniform, and she really liked whatever that something was.

“Let me go get my shoes and we can go,” Aelin declared. She had to force herself to step away from him, and all but ran back to her room to grab the nude heels she had set aside before coming back to the front door where he was waiting for her. Together, they walked to his car, Rowan opening the door for her, and they were on their way.

“So you’re Captain Rowan Whitethorn, huh?” Aelin asked, glancing at the symbols on his shoulders that indicated his rank.

“That would be me. I didn’t know you knew the rank structure.”

She shrugged. “I only sort of know officer ranks because of Aedion. I don’t know enlisted ranks nearly as well. And I really only know the officer ones because Aedion had me pinning his on every time he’s promoted.” Thinking back, she was confused at first as to why Aedion had asked her to help with the ceremony. He had to explain to her that it was meant to be a sort of honor for people’s families, where he got to pick the people most important to him to actually pin his new ranks on his uniform when he earned them. Since then, any time he had asked her, she had to fight back tears at the ceremony. 

“Will we get to sit with Lysandra and Aedion?” she asked him. She hadn’t really thought about the logistics of if she’d get to see her friends. 

Rowan nodded. “We’ll be sitting with them, Elide and Lorcan, and Fenrys and Gavriel and their dates.” 

“Ooh, Fenrys and Gavriel have dates, too?” Aelin was excited to meet the kind of people those two would have picked out.

“Don’t get your hopes up too much,” Rowan rolled his eyes. “You probably won’t see either one of the girls again after this. Neither one of them wanted to go alone, so they just found someone that wouldn’t embarrass them too much.” 

When they got to the hotel that was hosting the ball, Rowan opened the car door for her again and offered his arm as they walked into the ballroom. Fenrys, Gavriel, Lysandra, and Aedion, were already at the table when they found it. Once Lorcan and Elide arrived as well, they all stood to get drinks and mingle for a while before dinner. Aedion turned to talk to Rowan as they all made their way over to the bar.

“I see you’ve added a ribbon to your rack, there,” he pointed out, looking at the neat rows over Rowan’s heart. 

“Yes, sir, I have,” Rowan responded politely. 

“From what I’ve heard, you’ve earned every bit of it, “Aedion nodded. “We’re happy to have you here now.”

“Thank you, sir,” Rowan nodded back before Aedion turned to talk to Lysandra again. 

“What was that about?” Aelin asked him quietly.

Rowan pointed out one particular ribbon on his uniform, towards the top of the rows. “I just got this ribbon,” he explained. “It means they thought I did a good job at my last assignment.”

“Okay, but why did you keep calling him sir?” 

He grinned at that. “He’s a major, Aelin. He outranks me. It’s not a big deal in other settings, but military occasions like this, especially when we’re in uniform, I have to call him that.” 

“Captain Whitethorn!” a voice called from not too far away. They turned to find an older man in uniform heading their direction.

“Colonel White,” Rowan greeted him. The two men shook hands before turning her way. “Aelin, this is Colonel White, he’s the squadron commander for the sixteenth. Colonel, this is my girlfriend, Aelin.” She and the colonel shook hands as well, offering quick pleasantries, before he and Rowan started talking about things going on in the squadron. Aelin had a hard time keeping track of what was being said. It seemed that half of the words they used were acronyms she had never heard of. She did get the feeling that the colonel was happy to have Rowan, there, however. After a few minutes, the colonel politely excused himself, leaving them to their evening.

“So, I’m your girlfriend, huh?” Aelin asked, grinning up at Rowan. 

He looked back down at her, eyes widening slightly. “Shit, I’m sorry, did you not want me to say that? I won’t-”

“Rowan, calm down,” she stopped him, giggling. “It’s fine. We haven’t really talked about it, but I’ve been thinking about you as my boyfriend. Now I just know for sure.” 

His shoulders relaxed with her answer as they went to find the rest of their friends.

*****

After the social hour, they were all directed back to their tables for dinner, awards presentations, and a guest speaker. As the proceedings were going on, Lorcan and Fenrys entertained themselves by making jokes under their breath while everyone else at the table tried to hold in their laughter. 

Finally, after dinner and closing remarks, music began playing and it was socially acceptable for them to mingle and socialize with those around them. The group at their table spent a few minutes discussing the highs and lows of the guest speaker (with some not-so-flattering imitations from Fenrys) before Rowan turned to Aelin and asked her to dance. Excited, she took his hand and followed him to the dance floor that was set up. 

They moved together in silence for a little while, her right hand in Rowan’s left while she wrapped her other arm around his shoulders, his on her waist. Rowan was the first to speak again.

“So I just found out this week that I’m going to be deployed again.” 

Aelin opened her mouth and closed it again, unsure what to say.

Rowan continued speaking instead. “I won’t leave for another six months. But I’m going to have to go out of town for a while a few times between now and then for training.”

“I...where are they sending you?” 

He looked at her, grimacing.

“I take it you can’t tell me.” It wasn’t the first time she’d seen a reaction like that, there were things about his job that Aedion hadn’t been able to tell her before, too.

“No, I can’t. I’m sorry.” 

“It’s okay, I get it. I’m just surprised. Do you...I mean...will we…” She trailed off, not quite sure how to finish her thought. What would his leaving for that long mean for their relationship?

“I hope that we can…” Rowand searched for the right words himself. “I hope that we can keep this up even when I have to leave. But I’d understand if you didn’t want to wait for me.” 

She let out a breath in relief. “I was hoping you’d say that. Of course I’ll wait for you, Rowan.” 

He pressed his forehead to hers as they danced, holding her even closer than he was before. They stayed that way for a few moments before he tilted his head up again, pressing his lips to hers and whispering, “I love you, Aelin.” 


End file.
